Pet Peeve #110: POOR CHARACTER DESCRIPTIONS! I can’t tell you how many scripts have come across my desk that have character descriptions that read something like this:
MATT, a ruggedly handsome park ranger who loves his family and is tolerant of everyone but won’t back down from a fight, takes charge of situation just by walking in the room.
Gad zukes, people, it’s called “creative writing”, not just spewing a bunch of adjectives behind the character’s name. This is where the old adage, “show, don’t tell” comes into play. SHOW that Matt loves his family by having a picture of his family prominently displayed on his desk or – how’s this for crazy? – show him hug his kids and his wife when he gets home. Even having him talk to his family on the phone conveys it better then merely writing it down. There are a dozen ways you can show this so that a viewing audience gets it but unless you plan on handing out copies of your script at every screening no on is going to get it from that description.
SHOW Matt walking into a room and everyone automatically snapping to attention if that’s what the situation calls for. How he reacts to that – humbly, reluctantly, or maybe he accepts it as a given way of how things should be – is just as important as the fact that people turn to him for leadership.
Being tolerant of everyone could come through in giving him a sidekick who is African American or Muslim or a woman, whatever seems to go against the grain in the situation. Or he refuses to jump to conclusions about a bear – it doesn’t matter but SHOW it.
Any idea about your character that the audience needs to know – they’re smart, they’re afraid of snakes, they’re color blind – every detail needs to be demonstrated through action, not description. It’s called a viewing audience for a reason, people!
You don’t really need to waste the space describing your main character as “ruggedly handsome”. It’s a movie, it’s kind of a given that the hero is going to be hot. The only exception would be if his (or her) looks go against type. For instance, a scholarly looking park ranger or a wimpy guy would be unexpected and you can get away with just describing that. The director, producer and ten other people will take care of his looks. The only thing as a writer you should worry about is how the other characters react to this anti-type character. For instance, if he’s wimpy the other rangers might scoff at him, that sort of thing.
Showing the character through action rather than adjectives may take a few more lines but it’s page space well spent.
Showing posts with label dialog. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dialog. Show all posts
Friday, October 17, 2008
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
THREE KEYS TO BEING AN ACTIVE WRITER
There’s nothing worse than that passive, whiny person we all know (or can become from time to time). You know who I mean, the “poor me” victim who claims things just keep happening to them, boo hoo. Whether you’re aware of that or not, that whiny voice can slip into your writing as well. Here’s three ways to be sure you don’t let being passive get the best of you.
Beware of Gerunds: According to the dictionary, a gerund is, “a noun formed from a verb, describing an action, state or process. In English, it is formed from the verb’s -ing form.” In other words, running, driving, shooting, kissing are all gerunds. They are also very boring and take action out of your character’s hands. By definition they describe the action rather than show it and everyone knows that the first (and most misused) rule of screenwriting is show, don’t tell. For instance, “John runs down the hall” is more active and therefore more engaging than “John is running down the hall”. The first keeps you involved IN the story while the second example reminds you that you are being told a story. It seems like such a tiny thing but it keeps the reader firmly locked out of the world of your script and that’s the last thing you want. Go through your script and upgrade all those errant gerunds to their more active, powerful form.
Keep Your Character Active: What’s the first thing you ask your friends on Monday -- “What did you do this weekend?” It’s human nature to be interested in what people do, whether it’s over spring break, summer vacation or when confronted with some problem. If someone says “A rabid dog followed me home” the most common response would be “Oh my God, what did you do?” So give your characters some action to perform in the course of your story. They don’t have to be superheroes; some of the most engaging stories involve ordinary characters who are pushed into action by some string of events out of their control. The point is, somewhere in the story they realize what they must do and eventually do it. Or fail but try. Even if you’re writing a drama and the extent of the action is that they write a letter, the story needs to pivot on your main character DOING something. Think of your script as an overall whole picture and see if you can identify what the action is that your main character needs to take that changes the course of his or her life or story. If there isn’t one, if things just keep happening to them and they float along helplessly like flotsam in the stream of life then you should re-think your story.
Be Your Own Biggest Fan: I think the hardest thing for most writers is to get out there and network with people. Unfortunately, the bottom line is that no one cares as much as you do whether your script gets made into a movie or not. No agent, no producer, no actor, not even your best friend has as much invested in your script as you do both in terms of time and money. So why let fate decide if it gets made or not? Get out there and talk to people. I don’t mean join other groups of angry bitter writers and sit around bitching once a month about how hard it is to get you movie made. Join groups of people that can help you get your movie made. For instance, you could take a class or seminar from an instructor who works in the business and approach them for help. Go to networking breakfast groups – there are a number of them out there. You could also research who is on the board of directors for certain charities. If a producer who would be perfect for your movie is on the “Save the Malibu Ducks” committee then get out there and help save some ducks. The producer or someone who can get to them will come by sooner or later. This is the part where you have to sell your soul a little bit so I’d suggest keeping it to causes or groups that you really believe in. That way even if you never sell your script at least you’ll gain some good karma points, right?
Beware of Gerunds: According to the dictionary, a gerund is, “a noun formed from a verb, describing an action, state or process. In English, it is formed from the verb’s -ing form.” In other words, running, driving, shooting, kissing are all gerunds. They are also very boring and take action out of your character’s hands. By definition they describe the action rather than show it and everyone knows that the first (and most misused) rule of screenwriting is show, don’t tell. For instance, “John runs down the hall” is more active and therefore more engaging than “John is running down the hall”. The first keeps you involved IN the story while the second example reminds you that you are being told a story. It seems like such a tiny thing but it keeps the reader firmly locked out of the world of your script and that’s the last thing you want. Go through your script and upgrade all those errant gerunds to their more active, powerful form.
Keep Your Character Active: What’s the first thing you ask your friends on Monday -- “What did you do this weekend?” It’s human nature to be interested in what people do, whether it’s over spring break, summer vacation or when confronted with some problem. If someone says “A rabid dog followed me home” the most common response would be “Oh my God, what did you do?” So give your characters some action to perform in the course of your story. They don’t have to be superheroes; some of the most engaging stories involve ordinary characters who are pushed into action by some string of events out of their control. The point is, somewhere in the story they realize what they must do and eventually do it. Or fail but try. Even if you’re writing a drama and the extent of the action is that they write a letter, the story needs to pivot on your main character DOING something. Think of your script as an overall whole picture and see if you can identify what the action is that your main character needs to take that changes the course of his or her life or story. If there isn’t one, if things just keep happening to them and they float along helplessly like flotsam in the stream of life then you should re-think your story.
Be Your Own Biggest Fan: I think the hardest thing for most writers is to get out there and network with people. Unfortunately, the bottom line is that no one cares as much as you do whether your script gets made into a movie or not. No agent, no producer, no actor, not even your best friend has as much invested in your script as you do both in terms of time and money. So why let fate decide if it gets made or not? Get out there and talk to people. I don’t mean join other groups of angry bitter writers and sit around bitching once a month about how hard it is to get you movie made. Join groups of people that can help you get your movie made. For instance, you could take a class or seminar from an instructor who works in the business and approach them for help. Go to networking breakfast groups – there are a number of them out there. You could also research who is on the board of directors for certain charities. If a producer who would be perfect for your movie is on the “Save the Malibu Ducks” committee then get out there and help save some ducks. The producer or someone who can get to them will come by sooner or later. This is the part where you have to sell your soul a little bit so I’d suggest keeping it to causes or groups that you really believe in. That way even if you never sell your script at least you’ll gain some good karma points, right?
Sunday, July 13, 2008
Give Your Scenes A Purpose
Time and time again I find that writers have taken great pains to get the characters, dialog and description right but forgot to give the scene a purpose. I’m not talking about a cheesy “a ha!” moment at the end of every scene but a believable, organic reason for the scene being in the script. The purpose can be subtle or overt. It can be obvious at the time or be revealed later but there has to be a justification for it to be in the script. Showing off the scenery, educating your audience or plain old ego aren’t good enough reasons for a scene to be in the script.
Here’s a good test; after you’ve finished writing your script, go back through and read each individual scene as a single, stand alone piece. Ask yourself what has this particular scene accomplished. Has it forwarded the story? This is typically the best reason for a scene to be in the movie and yet often the most misunderstood. Marking time by repeating information about the story or a character that we already know (or sometimes don’t need to know) doesn’t count.
Has the scene revealed more about a particular character that is vital to the storyline? The biggest culprit here is when writers give the audience the back-story of a character at the beginning of the movie that really isn’t all that necessary to know. If you’re talking “Batman Begins” then sure, showing young Bruce Wayne has purpose. After all, the whole point of the movie is showing how Batman became Batman. But in a movie like “The Saint,” one of the least satisfying aspects of that fairly mediocre movie was the long drawn out beginning to help us understand what made Simon Templar into the man he became. Who cares? An audience isn’t stupid; they’ll be able to piece together what made your villain evil or your hero (or anti-hero) the person he is. If there’s a moment you really feel strongly about, consider putting it in the present action of the main story. Find a way to weave it into the dialog or action of the without simply spewing out details in a clunky “info-dump”. That’s a valid purpose for a scene that doesn’t slow the movie down.
Go through this process with every scene. Does each individual scene forward either the story or the character? If the answer is no or even a wobbly maybe, then either go back and add purpose to it or, painful as it may be, cut the scene altogether. Working with writers I’ve found it’s often hard to cut the fair-haired darlings, the scenes that they just like as an artist but amputation might be necessary for the health of the whole body. You can try to add purpose but usually it ends up feeling forced, like cramming a round peg in a square hole.
It doesn’t matter if you’re writing a drama, an action piece, a mystery/thriller or animated short; making sure that each scene has a purpose will successfully pull an audience into your script. That’s a key difference between a page-turner that you can’t put down and a ho hum script that you’re done with after just 10 pages.
Here’s a good test; after you’ve finished writing your script, go back through and read each individual scene as a single, stand alone piece. Ask yourself what has this particular scene accomplished. Has it forwarded the story? This is typically the best reason for a scene to be in the movie and yet often the most misunderstood. Marking time by repeating information about the story or a character that we already know (or sometimes don’t need to know) doesn’t count.
Has the scene revealed more about a particular character that is vital to the storyline? The biggest culprit here is when writers give the audience the back-story of a character at the beginning of the movie that really isn’t all that necessary to know. If you’re talking “Batman Begins” then sure, showing young Bruce Wayne has purpose. After all, the whole point of the movie is showing how Batman became Batman. But in a movie like “The Saint,” one of the least satisfying aspects of that fairly mediocre movie was the long drawn out beginning to help us understand what made Simon Templar into the man he became. Who cares? An audience isn’t stupid; they’ll be able to piece together what made your villain evil or your hero (or anti-hero) the person he is. If there’s a moment you really feel strongly about, consider putting it in the present action of the main story. Find a way to weave it into the dialog or action of the without simply spewing out details in a clunky “info-dump”. That’s a valid purpose for a scene that doesn’t slow the movie down.
Go through this process with every scene. Does each individual scene forward either the story or the character? If the answer is no or even a wobbly maybe, then either go back and add purpose to it or, painful as it may be, cut the scene altogether. Working with writers I’ve found it’s often hard to cut the fair-haired darlings, the scenes that they just like as an artist but amputation might be necessary for the health of the whole body. You can try to add purpose but usually it ends up feeling forced, like cramming a round peg in a square hole.
It doesn’t matter if you’re writing a drama, an action piece, a mystery/thriller or animated short; making sure that each scene has a purpose will successfully pull an audience into your script. That’s a key difference between a page-turner that you can’t put down and a ho hum script that you’re done with after just 10 pages.
Monday, June 23, 2008
CHARACTER ARC VS. ARCH
I finally got a chance to see “Iron Man” the other day and it got me thinking about character arc. I know, weird coming from a big action movie, huh? But the writers and actor obviously went to great lengths to clearly spell out the characters arc. And you know what? They did a pretty damn good job of it if you ask me.
The movie starts with Tony Stark, a guy with absolutely no moral compass, a real jerk and a womanizer. But did you notice what else they did? You can’t help but like the guy, as much of an a-hole as he may be. Yes Tony’s an irresponsible alcoholic who glibly sells the Pentagon a bar for every lethal missile they order. But he’s funny, he’s personable, and he talks to the little guy when most guys in his position wouldn’t give them a second glance. Most importantly, you see that he’s got a good woman who cares about him so he can’t be all bad, right? For me, the set up all went on a bit too long but still it effectively gave you a flawed character who you still wanted to spend two hours with to see how he redeemed himself.
And therein lies the problem with 80% of the scripts I read. After about five pages I just don’t like the main character. Yes, you need to give your hero a place to go. He (or she) needs to grow/change/maybe improve as a result of the journey they go on through the course of the story. But they don’t have to be whiny, bitchy, completely unlikable people! You want the reader and eventually a viewing audience to be drawn into their story despite their flaws and foibles, not be repelled by their basic nature.
Usually the problem is that it’s impossible to understand what the character wants and what’s in their way. If you only knew that, you might excuse the whiny, bitchy behavior. In “Iron Man” you know that deep down Tony wants to be the kind of man everyone thinks his father was but is conflicted. Was dad that good? After all, he made millions selling death and destruction and no matter how you rationalize it that’s still got to be confusing. So rather than deal with it he hides behind his own outlandish behavior. Complex, but no so overly complicated you can’t figure it out. And RELATABLE. No, most of us aren’t billionaire weapons dealers but we do have deep conflicts about who we are, what’s our purpose in life, etc. This is so not going to go over well with the artsy fartsy crowd but I think they movie makers – whether it was the writers, director or actor – did a fantastic job making a comic book hero into a real, flesh and blood man.
Whether you agree or not, think about it the next time you start a script and make the lead character a) stupid b) mean as a snake or c) a combination of a & b all in the name of giving your character some place to go. Take a step back, make them human first, and then work out the arc.
The movie starts with Tony Stark, a guy with absolutely no moral compass, a real jerk and a womanizer. But did you notice what else they did? You can’t help but like the guy, as much of an a-hole as he may be. Yes Tony’s an irresponsible alcoholic who glibly sells the Pentagon a bar for every lethal missile they order. But he’s funny, he’s personable, and he talks to the little guy when most guys in his position wouldn’t give them a second glance. Most importantly, you see that he’s got a good woman who cares about him so he can’t be all bad, right? For me, the set up all went on a bit too long but still it effectively gave you a flawed character who you still wanted to spend two hours with to see how he redeemed himself.
And therein lies the problem with 80% of the scripts I read. After about five pages I just don’t like the main character. Yes, you need to give your hero a place to go. He (or she) needs to grow/change/maybe improve as a result of the journey they go on through the course of the story. But they don’t have to be whiny, bitchy, completely unlikable people! You want the reader and eventually a viewing audience to be drawn into their story despite their flaws and foibles, not be repelled by their basic nature.
Usually the problem is that it’s impossible to understand what the character wants and what’s in their way. If you only knew that, you might excuse the whiny, bitchy behavior. In “Iron Man” you know that deep down Tony wants to be the kind of man everyone thinks his father was but is conflicted. Was dad that good? After all, he made millions selling death and destruction and no matter how you rationalize it that’s still got to be confusing. So rather than deal with it he hides behind his own outlandish behavior. Complex, but no so overly complicated you can’t figure it out. And RELATABLE. No, most of us aren’t billionaire weapons dealers but we do have deep conflicts about who we are, what’s our purpose in life, etc. This is so not going to go over well with the artsy fartsy crowd but I think they movie makers – whether it was the writers, director or actor – did a fantastic job making a comic book hero into a real, flesh and blood man.
Whether you agree or not, think about it the next time you start a script and make the lead character a) stupid b) mean as a snake or c) a combination of a & b all in the name of giving your character some place to go. Take a step back, make them human first, and then work out the arc.
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