Star power: How NOT to describe your characters

A lot of scripts that I've been reading lately have included character descriptions that go something like this:

JOHN DOE, think a Bruce Willis type of guy, approaches a woman who looks a lot like Diane Lane. In fact, let's call her DIANE.

I get the temptation to do this, considering the old axiom of "show, don't tell" but this isn't exactly what that means. There are several reasons NOT to do this, but here's the three main ones I can think of:

#3 -- Hollywood is a very small town. If you're lucky and someone high enough up the food chain is reading your script, they may actually know Bruce Willis. They might be his neighbor. They might think he's an asshole and, unable to get that image out of their head, will pass on the script just because of it. (Sorry Bruce, I'm sure you're a sweetheart, this is just a hypothetical.) Or the actor you choose as your role model was just in a stinker of a movie and the idea that this will do as poorly is hard for the reader to forget. Remember, the execs, agents and producers reading your script are HUMANS, with all the same foibles and flaws as the rest of us. Sure, they may LOVE Bruce Willis (who doesn't) and immediately want to keep reading but are you really ready to roll the dice like that on your script's future? If so, you should be living in Vegas.

#2 -- The reality is you don't really want people to THINK while reading your script, you want them to FEEL. Putting a name that they may not even know as a description just pulls the reader out of the script when all you want from page one is to pull them in. Directives like, "think a young Danny Kaye" are distracting unless you are a fairly AWESOME writer and can really slide that in there without it sounding klunky. Again, if you're willing to bet that you are that effen' good while still pitching your first or second script, you might want to rethink your career. Vegas baby, that's the place for you.

And the #1 reason NOT to use an actor as a character description?

It's perceived by many to be lazy writing. If you don't have the imagination or the vocabulary to describe your character in a way that a reader can instantly picture them, then the odds are heavily in favor of the script lacking an interesting character arc or storyline. It's not impossible, but it starts the reader thinking in that direction and it won't take much for them to give up on your script altogether. Studios want to know what character you're selling, not a vague generalization. What does a Bruce Willis type mean anyway? Fast talking from "Moonlighting" days, bigger than life action hero from "Die Hard" or creepy killer from "Day of the Jackal"?

The one exception: If you're writing a comedy and you want to use a comparison, like "JOHN DOE is so smoking hot he makes Edward the vampire look like Edward Scissorhands" or "DIANE is so blonde she makes Tori Spelling look like a brain surgeon". As long as it's true to the rest of the tone of your script, that's the one time name dropping can work in your favor.

It's fine for YOU to have Bruce Willis from "Die Hard" in mind as you write the scenes and dialog, but pull out the thesaurus and come up with a concise, vivid description to show everyone else your character's true identity.

HOW TO TELL A GOOD STORY FROM A GOOD MOVIE

One of the first things I learned as a development executive is that there’s a BIG difference between a good story and a story that makes a good movie. Back then, where true-life movies were king, we would watch hours of “news” shows like Hard Copy (hence the “” on news) to glean our next big movie. (Hey, it wasn’t just us, everyone did it.) 99% of them were interesting stories packed with emotions but only 1% had the elements necessary to make a good movie.

So what, you may ask, are the elements that make a movie and how are they different from a good news story or magazine article? Here are five simple questions to ask yourself to determine if your story idea has enough to be a movie.

Does the story have and identifiable main character & nemesis? The audience needs to be able to figure out who the main character is relatively quickly. Whose story is this? Who am I supposed to care about? The main character doesn’t necessarily have to make an immediate appearance – think of the classic example of “Casablanca” where everybody talks about Rick in his absence. By the time he actually appears you’re dying to know who the heck this guy is. Yes, a script can be an ensemble piece with several characters equally sharing the lead role but that’s pretty tough to pull off and I wouldn’t recommend it if you’re just starting out.

It’s good to keep in mind that the audience doesn’t necessarily have to like the main character. That’s why I keep calling it a main character and not a hero. Sometimes anti-heroes make the best main characters. More important than liking the main character is the idea that the audience can relate to them.

Almost as important is identifying who the nemesis is. Notice I didn’t say villain. The nemesis is who or what is standing between your main character and their ultimate goal. It could be a tornado, it could be simply a ticking clock, or it could be a person who isn’t necessarily evil. Usually this role is best played by a standard villain but bringing a fresh new take to a story never kept a movie from getting made. Keep in mind that it’s often more fun to make the audience think they know who the villain is only to find they were wrong at some point in the movie.

A good rule of thumb to remember is that the “hero” can only be as heroic as the “villain” is bad. Your fishermen can’t be going up against a rainstorm, it has to be the STORM OF THE CENTURY. Frodo didn’t have to drive over to the 7-11 to destroy the ring, he had to go through Mordor, etc. etc. You get the idea.

Does the main character have a relatable goal? The audience needs to be able to understand what your main character wants. What’s motivating him (or her)? Love? Greed? Fear? Goals are best if they are both specific and have universal appeal. For instance, wanting to save your home and 10 acres of corn from a flood is specific yet universal enough that an accountant in France understands how your character feels. This is especially true if the main character desires something controversial. If you can get an audience who disagrees with your main character’s desire but roots for them anyway, you don’t need to be a fortune teller to see that you’re going to have a long and fruitful career as a writer.

Is there something in the way of the main character achieving the goal? It’s equally important to understand what’s in the main characters way of achieving this goal. Just like with characters, his journey is only as interesting as the obstacles in his way. The obstacles in your character’s way have to escalate and continue to build. Most pitches – and movies – fail because there’s simply not enough happening in the middle of the movie. Plus, you have to make sure you’re not simply marking time; if you have variations of the same beat repeated over and over again it makes for a flat, boring movie.

Does the main character DO something to achieve their goal? This is where most interesting stories fail to make great movies. By action, I don’t mean a car chase or shootout. The main character just needs to take steps to achieve their goal. Speeches, protests or even bringing flowers to woo someone are all active. The main character may be reluctant to take action or he may be forced into it. He (or she) may take the wrong action at first or they may realize in the course of the story that they don’t really want what/who they thought they did.

Whatever the action, it has to be enough to fill 2 hours. That requires the character taking steps, having an obstacle arise; he or she conquers it and then moves forward only to have another, larger obstacle arise. The obstacles/dangers have to continue to escalate, not just be repeated over and over in different circumstances. Many movies fail because they have a great beginning and a great ending but no middle to support it.


You’ll notice “ do they all live happily ever after” isn’t one of the questions. Personally, I like a nice happy ending or at least one that’s bittersweet. I hate investing two hours of my very busy life only to get attached to a character and then feel crappy when they lose. However, that’s just my personal taste; many great movies have unhappy endings but they work because the writers have very carefully constructed a story in which a tragic ending was the most logical way to bring closure to the movie. Butch and Sundance would have sucked as a movie if the heroes had lived, for instance. (Sorry, should have put a spoiler alert in there for the three of you out there who’ve never seen this classic.)

That, in a nutshell, is it. If you can answer “yes” to ALL of these questions then you’re on your way to turning your story into a good movie.

THREE KEYS TO BEING AN ACTIVE WRITER

There’s nothing worse than that passive, whiny person we all know (or can become from time to time). You know who I mean, the “poor me” victim who claims things just keep happening to them, boo hoo. Whether you’re aware of that or not, that whiny voice can slip into your writing as well. Here’s three ways to be sure you don’t let being passive get the best of you.

Beware of Gerunds: According to the dictionary, a gerund is, “a noun formed from a verb, describing an action, state or process. In English, it is formed from the verb’s -ing form.” In other words, running, driving, shooting, kissing are all gerunds. They are also very boring and take action out of your character’s hands. By definition they describe the action rather than show it and everyone knows that the first (and most misused) rule of screenwriting is show, don’t tell. For instance, “John runs down the hall” is more active and therefore more engaging than “John is running down the hall”. The first keeps you involved IN the story while the second example reminds you that you are being told a story. It seems like such a tiny thing but it keeps the reader firmly locked out of the world of your script and that’s the last thing you want. Go through your script and upgrade all those errant gerunds to their more active, powerful form.

Keep Your Character Active: What’s the first thing you ask your friends on Monday -- “What did you do this weekend?” It’s human nature to be interested in what people do, whether it’s over spring break, summer vacation or when confronted with some problem. If someone says “A rabid dog followed me home” the most common response would be “Oh my God, what did you do?” So give your characters some action to perform in the course of your story. They don’t have to be superheroes; some of the most engaging stories involve ordinary characters who are pushed into action by some string of events out of their control. The point is, somewhere in the story they realize what they must do and eventually do it. Or fail but try. Even if you’re writing a drama and the extent of the action is that they write a letter, the story needs to pivot on your main character DOING something. Think of your script as an overall whole picture and see if you can identify what the action is that your main character needs to take that changes the course of his or her life or story. If there isn’t one, if things just keep happening to them and they float along helplessly like flotsam in the stream of life then you should re-think your story.

Be Your Own Biggest Fan: I think the hardest thing for most writers is to get out there and network with people. Unfortunately, the bottom line is that no one cares as much as you do whether your script gets made into a movie or not. No agent, no producer, no actor, not even your best friend has as much invested in your script as you do both in terms of time and money. So why let fate decide if it gets made or not? Get out there and talk to people. I don’t mean join other groups of angry bitter writers and sit around bitching once a month about how hard it is to get you movie made. Join groups of people that can help you get your movie made. For instance, you could take a class or seminar from an instructor who works in the business and approach them for help. Go to networking breakfast groups – there are a number of them out there. You could also research who is on the board of directors for certain charities. If a producer who would be perfect for your movie is on the “Save the Malibu Ducks” committee then get out there and help save some ducks. The producer or someone who can get to them will come by sooner or later. This is the part where you have to sell your soul a little bit so I’d suggest keeping it to causes or groups that you really believe in. That way even if you never sell your script at least you’ll gain some good karma points, right?

CHARACTER ARC VS. ARCH

I finally got a chance to see “Iron Man” the other day and it got me thinking about character arc. I know, weird coming from a big action movie, huh? But the writers and actor obviously went to great lengths to clearly spell out the characters arc. And you know what? They did a pretty damn good job of it if you ask me.

The movie starts with Tony Stark, a guy with absolutely no moral compass, a real jerk and a womanizer. But did you notice what else they did? You can’t help but like the guy, as much of an a-hole as he may be. Yes Tony’s an irresponsible alcoholic who glibly sells the Pentagon a bar for every lethal missile they order. But he’s funny, he’s personable, and he talks to the little guy when most guys in his position wouldn’t give them a second glance. Most importantly, you see that he’s got a good woman who cares about him so he can’t be all bad, right? For me, the set up all went on a bit too long but still it effectively gave you a flawed character who you still wanted to spend two hours with to see how he redeemed himself.

And therein lies the problem with 80% of the scripts I read. After about five pages I just don’t like the main character. Yes, you need to give your hero a place to go. He (or she) needs to grow/change/maybe improve as a result of the journey they go on through the course of the story. But they don’t have to be whiny, bitchy, completely unlikable people! You want the reader and eventually a viewing audience to be drawn into their story despite their flaws and foibles, not be repelled by their basic nature.

Usually the problem is that it’s impossible to understand what the character wants and what’s in their way. If you only knew that, you might excuse the whiny, bitchy behavior. In “Iron Man” you know that deep down Tony wants to be the kind of man everyone thinks his father was but is conflicted. Was dad that good? After all, he made millions selling death and destruction and no matter how you rationalize it that’s still got to be confusing. So rather than deal with it he hides behind his own outlandish behavior. Complex, but no so overly complicated you can’t figure it out. And RELATABLE. No, most of us aren’t billionaire weapons dealers but we do have deep conflicts about who we are, what’s our purpose in life, etc. This is so not going to go over well with the artsy fartsy crowd but I think they movie makers – whether it was the writers, director or actor – did a fantastic job making a comic book hero into a real, flesh and blood man.

Whether you agree or not, think about it the next time you start a script and make the lead character a) stupid b) mean as a snake or c) a combination of a & b all in the name of giving your character some place to go. Take a step back, make them human first, and then work out the arc.