Don't Play Telephone with Your Career

Remember playing the game "Telephone" when you were a kid?  That's the one where everyone sits in a circle and someone starts off whispering a message in the ear of the person next to them.  The fun of it is seeing what the message morphs into by the time it gets all the way around the circle.  Usually it doesn't even closely resemble the original message.

Hysterical, right?

Sure, unless you're talking about the series or movie pitch that you've spent weeks or months developing. But that's exactly what can happen if you don't follow up a meeting with a written version of your pitch.

Frankly, I have NEVER understood a writer coming in to pitch a project without having something down in writing.  Hello!  At the end of the day, we're hiring you to write a project, not verbally tell a story.  Unless you've got a list of credits as long as your arm (and frankly, if you did you probably aren't reading this blog), you're going to have to prove you can write the characters and situations you've described at some point.  Allegedly writing is what you love to do and what you do better than anything else so why not show it?  But I digress...

So you meet with the producer, development executive or agent.  You tell the best story ever, with characters that jump to life and a line or two of really smart dialog.  Guess what happens next?  The person you pitched it to has to pitch it to the next person up the food chain.  Always.  There's always a bigger fish who has to weigh in on whether or not to pursue your project.  Seriously, I don't care who you've pitched to, they have to sell it up the ladder to the producer, the studio, the network, the talent.  Sometimes all of the above.  Are you willing to bet your  project that they get every nuance of the story and character right as they orally pitch this from one desk to the next?

Even with the best of intentions, often times the spirit and tone of the piece can get mangled. Everyone has days when they're in a crappy mood or hate their job or got dumped by their girl or took a decongestant... whatever the cause, no one pitches every story perfectly every time.  Hedge your bets and help the person who is trying to help you by giving them a written form of your pitch.

WHEN AND WHAT TO LEAVE BEHIND:

Generally speaking, it's best NOT to leave behind pages or a synopsis at the end of the meeting because you'll want to tailor your idea based on any questions or concerns that came up in the meeting. At the very least, pretend you are going to do that.

Before you leave, without being pushy or rude try to get the executive's e-mail or their assistant's so you can follow up the meeting with a BRIEF synopsis of what you pitched to them directly.  And I do mean brief.  Something that can easily be passed along in an e-mail is best, so try limiting it to a page or page and a half.  Giving them a catchy, memorable logline to boot is icing on your cake.

ETIQUETTE TIP:  Get an e-mail or an address of everyone you meet so you can follow up EVERY meeting with a polite "thank you for your time, it was wonderful meeting you" note.  It makes a difference. 

Someday, after you've pitched your idea but no one sees the genius of it all, it may be necessary to spec the script out.  That means writing it on the speculation that someone will buy it once they see the idea on the page.  A lot of movies and series have gotten set up that way lately, even from newbie writers so don't dismiss the idea as ridiculous.  Again, you love to write, you want to sell this... maybe I'm a dolt, but I don't see the problem.  


BOTTOM LINE:

Seriously, you want to be a writer so prove it by writing.  Whoever tells you not to write a word until someone pays you for it isn't doing  you any favors at all.

Get It Right the First Time (ish)

Over the weekend, I participated in a horse show (don't worry, this will be relevant in a minute).  Like nearly every one who rides or participates in any sport of any kind, I left the ring feeling like, "that was ok, but I could have done so much better."  It's a pretty common feeling -- I should have thrown the ball farther, or I could have played that poker hand just a little bit smarter, etc.  That's all fine and good in certain aspects of your life, but writing isn't one of them.  

Don't get me wrong; there is a time for rough drafts and "Hail Mary" takes on an idea or a script.  The adage about writing being mostly re-writing is as about as true as any saying can be.  Heck, I've already re-written this blog post 5 times and I'm not even close to being done.  Try out a version, give it to your writing group to get some feedback, play with the characters to see what feels grounded and real.

However, the script/pages/pitch that you hand in to a producer, agent or whoever that final destination for it might be, better be the best darn version you have in you.  Period.  End of story.  If you need to take a couple more days to feel like this is the best version you can give, do it.  Because the odds that you'll get a second read out of someone are slim to none.

The only exception to that rule is if the person/studio/network you're giving the project to has a vested interest in reading it and giving you notes until they think it's right.  Guess what?  If they feel like the draft you gave them was anything less than the best you can give, they're going to be peeved.  Even if you're doing work on an if/come basis for someone, what they are investing is their valuable time and they will be equally peeved if it feels like you're wasting it with half-baked plots or undeveloped characters.

What CAN happen is that you turn your draft in, a draft you've sweated blood over, and the recipient responds with notes. Maybe a ton of notes.  They liked your general concept, but the specific plot doesn't work.  As the writer, you can discuss it with them, listen to their concerns and engage in a dialog about how to fix it.  What you CAN'T do is say, "I hear you, let me try to make that better".

I know, it sounds like a good thing to say, right?  You think you're telling them, "I'll do a better version of that story or character now that I know what you want."  But you're really saying (whether you know it or not) is, "I didn't give you my best work because I wasn't sure you'd like that idea.  Now that I hear that you don't like it, I'll do a better job of writing that exact same thing, certain that when I give it 100% you'll see that I was right and love this as much as I do."

BZZZZ!  Sorry, wrong answer.  You had your shot before you turned in that first draft.  If there were things you weren't certain about, call the people you're working with.  Really listen to them, don't do that half-listen thing you do when you ask someone a question to be polite and really don't care what the answer is.  Once you've turned it in and the person tells you an idea, plot or character isn't working, don't keep hammering at it with the idea that if you write it better they'll get it.  Right or wrong, for better or worse, not only will they not get it, they may very well get pissed that the very thing they didn't like it back on the page in front of them again.

Be bold, be daring, go for the high fences as you write and rewrite, but be sure that whatever you give to the network or studio is the absolutely best you can deliver.  If they don't like it, file it away in your "ideas to come back to" file and come up with something new that will work for them.  Because promising to write the same idea but better next time is like promising sex will be better next time; it leaves your partner wondering what you were holding out for in the first place.

How to Write a TV Pilot

Since the excitement of upfronts is over and the new series for the next season have (mostly) been picked, it seemed like a good time to talk about writing a TV pilot.

The one thing every aspiring writer needs to know about writing a TV pilot is that it will not get made. Not yet, anyway. Embrace that fact and make it your friend because the reason to write one if you’re still trying to get your first break in Hollywood is as a calling card. Proof to agents and producers that you get what it takes to write an episode, get characters, and create dialog. Since you don’t have to worry so much about being commercial (it’s anyone’s guess what that really means anyway), let your creative juices run wild. The sky really is the limit, but there are a few rules to be aware of.

Formatting: The format of a TV pilot is pretty much the same format you use for features. Oh, some networks like the description to be all in capital letters (my personal pet peeve) while others double space everything so it’s a little more flexible but it’s still your basic format.

Page length: One hour dramas this year ranged anywhere from the high 50’s to 67 pages long. Now, I wouldn’t recommend you write 67 pages unless it’s freakin’ awesome, but there is a little wiggle room beyond the standard one page = one minute of screen time. For half-hour comedies, most are around the low 30’s – 35 in regular formatting pretty much topping it out.

Acts: Every pilot needs to be broken out in to acts. For one hours, the number ranges from 4 to 6, depending on the type of show you want to write. Half-hours usually have some kind of opening teaser and then divide into 2 acts, although some go for 3. Some of the pilots for the comedies letter the scenes as well. My advice would be to skip that for now

How do you choose how many acts to use? Watch the kind of show you want your pilot to be, note down how it’s structured, and try to emulate that.

Give your series legs: Always remember that you’re writing a PILOT, the first of hopefully 100 or more episodes of a successful television SERIES. Make sure that it’s clear from the pilot that there are a limitless number of story possibilities in this series. For instance, if it’s set in an office full of whacky characters, it’s easy to see that there’s no end to the stories. If, on the other hand, it’s set in a political campaign, you might have some problems convincing a network executive that you can keep the same tension involved in a campaign up show after show for a number of years. Eventually the candidate has to win or lose, right? This is why cop, lawyer and medical shows are always going to be around. There’s almost no end to the stories that can come from those settings. The trick is to find a new and different spin on those workhorse ideas.

Have characters with… character: Make sure that each character in you pilot (and therefore the series) has a clear and distinct voice. Their dialog is the only way they have of setting themselves apart so make it sharp and unique. It really defines their roles in the series, whether it’s a drama or a comedy, so don’t make it too vague. Great characters that jump off the page are what will make executives want to buy the series. Think about how many police procedurals are on TV; now think about what sets them apart. “Psych” and “The Mentalist” are basically the same idea but with completely different characters.

Set the right tone: Make sure it’s clear from the very first scene what the tone of the show is going to be. Is it dark comedy? Is it warm and fuzzy? Is it cold and analytical or action filled? The tone of the pilot is just as vital as the characters in letting the network know that you have original ideas and know how to execute them.

There are no new series ideas that have never been done before. It’s about the life you bring to it through the setting, characters and tone that will make your pilot stand out as a sample of the kind of work you can do. Make it bold enough AND professional, and it could be the ticket to getting your first writing job.